My Gethsemane

Luke 5:16 (NIV) But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.   

John 6:15 (NIV) Jesus, knowing that they intended to come and make him king by force, withdrew again to a mountain by himself.

These last couple weeks have been busy and full of Bible in Schools, Livewire (middle-school group), youth group, meetings, study and much more. Bible in Schools has been awesome. Judi (my new supervisor) has been really awesome with encouraging me and helping me to take on some of the roles with the children. One day I got to read the scripture to them and dress up in a crazy costume and act liked the paralyzed man that Jesus healed. It was fun capturing their attention and hearing what types of questions eight year olds have. I just find it so encouraging seeing these young minds so interested what we are talking about and just wanting to learn more. My favorite question so far was, “how did God make the sky blue?”=) This next week the class is going on a trip so we won’t have Bible in Schools. I’ll miss that and will look forward to it next week. 

            The last two Sundays I have had the opportunity to teach the Livewire group at church. They are a very active age group. The first Sunday we talked about giving and being generous. I challenged them to do something for their mom’s last week as it was Mother’s Day yesterday. It was a struggle the first Sunday because they want to be an active group and not just sit there and talk. So I decided that yesterday we would be more active and that I would bring some American candy to give them for answering questions. That worked great!!! Kids love candy. =) This week we talked about forgiveness and how sometimes it is a hard thing to do and something that we must work on and ask God to help us. Our activity was to write things on a whiteboard that require us to forgive such as; lying, hurting, and breaking things… Then I brought wash cloths and had a bucket of water. They had to throw the cloth at the board to try and wipe away the words. It was a great visual as to how sometimes it takes awhile to wipe away the hurt, but sometimes it wipes right off. It was quite similar to how sometimes things are harder to forgive than others. I challenged the kids to try and forgive this week. They all have siblings so I told them to start there. =) Judi was there (she is the head over the Livewire group) and said that she liked the activity and that maybe I should try it with the youth group… I think that’s a great idea. 

            The last two weeks of youth group have been more on my own without the pastor there. However, I am quite blessed to have Ye-Gon and another guy called Graeme to be there helping out. Well last Sunday at youth group we only have four youth show up. We had a lot of fun though playing sock wrestling and then talking about John 5. I loved working with this group because they were asking some awesome questions and really getting into a deep discussion. It is really encouraging to see. Then yesterday we had a large group that showed up. One of the youth’s birthday is this week so I made chocolate chip cookies and we played a few random games. We then talked about John 6: 1-21. It was really neat seeing the questions that were brought up such as; the trinity and if God can provide endless food (feeding the 5000 with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish) then why is there still a famine? I challenged the youth to bring up topics at the beginning of youth that they wanted to talk about and I believe that these two things might just fit in that category. I pray that I will be able to adequately answer these questions or find someone that can because I’m not sure I even know these answers or explain them well enough. However, I am willing to try. I love these types of questions. My youth group rocks. 

            Assignments: This last week I loved reading The Bible Jesus Read. I had a lot of cool ideas about the Old Testament that I never really considered before. I’m really excited to read the Old Testament with these new ideas and see what I learn. Assignments are going really well, better than I ever thought I thought maybe it would be hard to get back into doing assignments after not going to school for a year and it isn’t too bad. My biggest problem is procrastination and figuring out the right balance between studying and working at the church. Mostly life has been super busy.

Sometimes the business can be overwhelming. The last couple weeks I have been trying to tweak my schedule to get the right balance of work and rest. For about a week and a half I was getting into bed around 9:30 and falling asleep straight away, then getting up around 7 still exhausted from the day before. Don’t get me wrong I love what I do but I just can get tired and burnt out after going nonstop for a couple weeks. Two Saturdays I decided that I wanted to try and take the day off so I went and watched the Avengers! It was a really fun movie and now I feel as if I need to watch the other movies so I know more about the different heroes. It was a pretty fun day but we missed the first bus and then had to wait on other buses and I just felt rushed not really relaxed. Then after a week of been busy again I talked with Judi, my ministry supervisor about balance. We talked about how even Jesus took time away from everything to rest. I even read about it with my youth group this week how Jesus withdrew again to a mountain by himself. Also, in Luke 5:16 it talks about Jesus withdrew to a lonely place to pray. So I decided that Judi was right and that I should really try to make some time just to have Brandi time and not think about everything that has to get done. There are always things that will need to be done but if I’m not spiritual, mentally, physical and emotionally full then I won’t be able to get anything done. So this weekend I was home alone and decided to take all day Saturday to do whatever I wanted. I decided to Skype with my parents and Josh. I baked cookies for the youth and I cleaned… yes I cleaned on my day off but not because I had to but because it was something I wanted to do. It was such a relaxing Saturday!! I woke up Sunday refreshed and ready to go. I have decided that I’m going to take at least one day a week off a week and do this. As much as I love doing my ministry and study I also know I need to balance rest and take a Sabbath.

I have some exciting news that has also happened this week. I bought a car!!! I was looking and not really finding anything less than $1500 but then Andre’s dad found a car for $600. I hadn’t seen the car or anything but I trusted him and bought it. I felt as if by buying a car I would spend less time on a bus and more time being able to rest and put in time with my youth. I now can also be mobile and go to my youth’s events and maybe even take them for an ice cream just to catch up. I really believe that this will help in so many different ways. I thank God that He provided for this. It was quite funny because I had just prayed to God, “God, you know how I can’t even decide on buying a pair of jeans? Well, I think figuring out which car I should buy is going to be harder. I think I’m just going to trust you and have you decide for me by giving me a great deal or some sort of a push in the right direction.” Well, not even an hour later I found out and bought this car! God is SO Good!!! I got to see it today for the first time and I drove it this evening to get Subway! It is so different on the other side of the car and rode but I think it will be okay! Watch out New Zealand Brandi is behind the wheel!

That is pretty much all I’ve been up to these last couple weeks. In two weeks time we will be having our 40 hour famine event so pray that goes well! I can’t wait to get all the activities planned for that. =) I would like to ask you to continue praying for my youth group and the rest of my church, that I travel safe in my new car, my studies and my family. Also, if you see my mom these next couple weeks give her a hug for me for Mother’s Day, she is the best mommy in the world after all =D I love and miss you all! Let me know how you are doing. Thank you again for you continuous support!

Beautiful Mess!

           John 15:9-12 (NIV) 9"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends

I can’t believe today is the first day of May (at least here in New Zealand). Where has the time gone? April has been a really full and busy month for me and also a very rewarding one. On April 1st the youth group, some of their parents, younger siblings and I went to the Hamilton Gardens for an Easter, Stations of the Cross. It was a fun way to get the youth out of the church and doing stuff in the community. The Gardens are one of my favorite places in Hamilton so I was excited to go. A lot of local artist did creative pieces that told of what Jesus went through the last week of His life, the cross and the resurrection. There were a lot of lovely things that really got you to think. Some of the youth really took this in and let it affect their lives. It was a really fun social event!

           Then we had a week to prepare ourselves for Easter camp. We arrived to the camp site on the 5th of April to set up our tents and to go to our first worship session. It was fun seeing our group of youth so excited about the weekend. There were over 4000 people at this camp so there were a lot of tents and a lot of people. It was pretty awesome. We slept in our tents for four nights and had a lot of fun. I just want to talk about a few of the highlights of the camp. First off our group entered in to play sports. We played touch rugby and sort of got owned but we had a lot of fun. We only had nine people so not many subs. Then the next day we played soccer. It was pretty awesome; we even won one game and got milkshakes because of it. :) I learned that I need to get back in shape. Also before all of our group sessions we would have tribal wars. No Josh, we didn’t have spears or stones to fight. :P The stands were split in three sections and we competed by making the most sound possible, and believe me 4000 people can make a lot of sound. We also had various competitions such as crowd surfing and passing a cow’s lung around. It was quite entertaining.

Even though the games and activities were a lot of fun I think that my favorite time was this quiet space that they set up where you could go see art that told the Easter story. They had this long tablecloth set out with wine glasses, bread, and grape juice so that you could sit there, reflect and take communion. It was dark in the room with one stage light cast down the table, almost blinding. As I sat there I started to picture Jesus and His disciples sitting there. Jesus was telling us about what was going to happen. I wondered if I was there what would I have said, would I have understood? It was such a powerful moment for me and I just sat there in reflection and awe of God!

           The theme of Easter Camp was “A Beautiful Mess”. The speakers talked about how sometimes our lives get messy but God brings something beautiful out of it. One of the speakers really hit home for me as he describes us as broken glass because of our mess but how Jesus picks up those pieces and makes us into a beautiful mosaic! It really got me to thinking. I could imagine us as a mosaic and how beautiful we truly are.

           Even though I slept on a hard ground and was exhausted when Monday rolled around I had an amazing time. It was so awesome getting to know the six youth that went and watching them grow closer to God. God truly showed up at the camp!

The week after Easter Camp was sort of a busy week for me with getting assignments done and just catching up on rest. We didn’t have youth group that Sunday or the next because the youth were on school holidays. However, the 22nd of April the church had a shared dinner and a gentleman from Australia came and talked about Noah’s Ark, so I got to see some of the youth then. It was an awesome presentation and just went to show how amazing God truly is. I think that I want to look more into the topic of Noah’s Ark and also look into dinosaurs and the Bible. ;)

           Then last week was one of the busiest weeks so far; with an assignment being due that Monday and planning for my first Sunday in charge of the youth. Tuesday was my second time doing Bible in Schools. A lovely lady from my church called Judi asked me if I’d like to help her with this. We go to a little primary school in a town a short distance from Hamilton and spend a half hour talking about different stories of the Bible. It is a lot different being able to talk to children about God in school. I wonder if America could start doing this. It is a lot of fun and the children seem to enjoy it.

           Then Wednesday I read this book called Sacred Pathways for my Spiritual Formation group. It talked about nine different temperaments on how we worship God. There are: the Naturalist, Creationist, Traditionalist, Ascetics, Caregivers, Intellectuals, Enthusiast, Activists, and Contemplative. After reading about what each were and how they worship God and some temptations each type of person has, you answered a few questions and tallied your score to see which one you were most like. When I started reading the book I thought I would be closest to Caregivers or Intellectual. I was but they were my second and third highest scores. My first highest was Ascetics. When I started reading this book I had no idea what that mean but as I read the chapter I kept getting more and more excited, thinking how it sounded a lot like me. The author of the book talked about how it is kind of like the “monk” temperament, one who likes solitude, strictness/obedience, commitment and simplicity. For me that makes a lot of sense. I tend to worship and feel closer to God when I’m lying in bed, in complete silence, in the dark. Or when I stay at the church on Sundays after everyone goes home until youth group. The solitude allows me to truly focus on God. I find that noises, smells or just flashy worship can be distracting to me. Before I read this book I always would try to worship like everyone else expected of me but now I realize that there are many ways to worship God. I want to try this way that excites me and just feels right. Some of the things the book suggested to do was to have night worship, basically like I described about, fasting where you give up something to focus on God (Maybe my computer), and just silent retreats away where there are no distractions. I highly highly recommend this book. It is by Gary Thomas and is called, Sacred Pathways: Discover Your Soul's Path to God. If you are interested in finding a way to worship God in the way He made you to then this is an awesome book for you!

           This week I have also started my new devotional called “Trusting God” and have found that it is comforting to know that God really does have the whole world in His hands. I have also started my next assignment for my Old Testament Themes class. It is reading a book called “The Bible Jesus Read”. So far it is quite interesting and should be a fun read.

           This last weekend was the busiest part of the week. On Saturday I went to a youth conference that a group called Word of Life put on. Four of the Pathways’ student are interning there so it was awesome seeing them and doing workshops on how to work with your youth and ask them questions. Also, making sure our hearts are in the right place. That was an all day event but was also pretty fun. Then on Sunday the youth group from Easter Camp showed their video to the congregation that one of the youth made and shared some highlights from camp. I was super nervous because I’m not too brave speaking in front of people but God was with me and helped me get through it and it ended up great.

           Then the hardest thing that has happened to me since I have been in New Zealand, happened Sunday night, running youth group.  Since the couple that were running youth group are in Peru for four months I am now pretty much in charge of running youth group (with the help of this awesome guy called Ye-Gon and the pastor and his wife). Well, the pastor and I decided that we were going to take a detour from the book of John and focus on what the youth group should look like and how we are to treat each other at youth, outside youth, and on Facebook. I was so nervous coming up with the lesson, finding the right verses and presenting it in a way that they group would be engaged and willing to talk. And I have to say God is such an amazing God!!! He made things run so well. The group talked, laughed, asked hard questions, and gave great insight to one another! They are such an amazing group of young people and I am blessed that God put them in my life to be the first youth group to work with!!!

           So for the next few months we as a youth group might continue to put the book of John on hold and find answers to the hard questions that they are facing or just want to know about, to continue to engage them and help them grow in their walk with God. Also, this month we are going to be having a 40 hour famine social event and then in June we are going to be having a games/rootbeer float (They don’t have rootbeer here but I’ve found a store that sells it) night. I will be busy planning these events, lessons and doing assignments but I’m very excited about doing all these things. Also, the next two Sundays I will be working with our Livewire class (middle school age) and providing them their lesson during church.

           I hope everyone is doing well! Please let me know if you need any prayer or even just tell me how things are going in your lives. I would love to hear from you. If you guys could pray for my youth group and that God uses me to teach and guide them at youth group. Also, pray for my studies and that I can truly focus on then. One last thing would be either patience about waiting on buses because that is my only form of transportation (sometimes it is hard cause I have to plan an hour of travel each time I want to go to the church) or pray I miraculously have a car sitting in my driveway with my name on it. :P Thank you for all your support and I hope you are enjoying seeing what I’ve been up to.

Faith Prevails

Galatians 3:13-14 (NIV) 13 Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: “Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree.” 14 He redeemed us in order that the blessing given to Abraham might come to the Gentiles through Christ Jesus, so that by faith we might receive the promise of the Spirit.

            First I want to apologize for not posting as often as I should. It has been about two months since I’ve posted last and what a crazy busy two months it has been. I am going to try and fill everyone in with what I’ve been doing while trying not to make this post too long. I hope that you enjoy the story of my adventure as much as I am!!! 

            The last time I posted I was getting ready to head to my first block course to meet everyone in my school. I had no idea what to expect with the school and I still hadn’t met anyone at the church I was to intern at. Well I got on the bus to my block course in Wellington. When I showed up Craig (principle) from Pathways pointed me towards my room and I slowly started meeting people. I was praying to God that I wouldn’t be nervous and that I would just take everything by faith. I soon started meeting all the girls and realized I wasn’t the only one nervous. Soon we all were talking and getting to know each other and by the end of the two weeks it seemed like we knew each other forever and became our very own little family.

            There are about 24 people in my program so it is a nice group to study and get to know. They are interning all over New Zealand so I only get to see most of them at our block courses. This semester I am taking six classes; Supervised Practice, Interpreting the Bible, Spiritual Formation, Old Testament Themes, Galatians, and Youth Ministry Elective. All of the classes are awesome and are helping me with my walk with God.

 Supervised Practice is where I have 3 supervisors with my internship; One Spiritual, one Ministry and one Academic. They all help me in different areas of life. The academic one helps with academics, the ministry one with how I’m doing with my youth ministry and my spiritual more on a personal level of how I’m doing in everyday life and spiritual needs. For this course one of my assignments was to write a learning contract, basically it was about what I want to work on and get out of this year. I talked about how I wanted to stop worrying so much and I want to put my trust in God. I have created a prayer wall where I physically write out my worries and give them to God. It has helped me to realize that I can release my worries to Him. I also put prayer requests on my wall as well. I am also going to be starting a devotional called, “Trusting God: A Girlfriends in God Faith Adventure”. I’m hoping that it can help me in the process of worrying less.

            My Interpreting the Bible course is pretty awesome as well. We are learning how to read and interpret the Bible. So instead of applying the verse directly to our lives we are looking at the background of the book, author, people of that time and seeing what it is saying to them. Then we find the Biblical principle in it and that is when we can start seeing how it applies to us now. I find it really helpful to see why something was written. I think that it allows me to understand and learn the truth behind what is being said. The philosophy part of my brain loves it. :D

            The Spiritual Formation class is a special class for me. It is where a group of us girls get together and talk about life. There are six of us all together and they are such wonderful people. We are reading a book called, “Sacred Pathways” to see in what way(s) we worship God. It is a pretty neat class.

            Old Testament Themes is pretty cool. I love how we talk about the connections throughout the whole Bible and how the Old Testament can indeed be fun. Our lecturer is pretty awesome and full of life. I find it interesting that he is only a year older than myself. He brings an interesting approach to remembering things and that is through food. He even had us drinking vinegar to remember the bitter taste of screwing up. It is neat. 

            I really appreciate my youth elective because that really helps teach me how to interact with the youth and what to expect. The phrase for this course is, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care”. How true is that? I find that both showing people how much you care and allowing yourself to be vulnerable people open up to you more and trust you more. It is really such great way to live life.

            I think right now my favourite course is Galatians. We read it without chapters and verses but in letter form just as the Galatians would have read it. I find it full of so many themes but my favourite is that of Law vs. Faith. How Jesus came to take that law and wants us to live by faith in Him and the Holy Spirit. If we try to follow one law then we must follow all the laws. However, as people have shown it is quite impossible to follow all the laws so that is why Jesus died for us. People might say then what are the rules we are supposed to follow? I believe that if we have the Holy Spirit then we should allow it to be our moral compass.... Okay I could talk about this all day but I probably should stop here. Feel free if you want to talk to me about it to email me or whatever and I’d love to chat. :D

            So those are my classes that I’m taking this semester. Now back to what I’ve been up to. Block course 1 in Wellington was two weeks long and was the perfect time to get to know everyone that I will be studying with this year. Each and every one of them are amazing people. I can’t believe how close we got so quickly. It is really helpful knowing that they have the same passion as me, to learn and glorify God.  During those first two weeks I found that I wasn’t as homesick as I could have been because I realized that I am home. Wherever there are Christians and God then I am surrounded by brothers and sisters and my heavenly father. It is such a comforting thought. :D

            At block course I still didn’t know where I was going to be living or with who but finally a couple days before I headed back to Hamilton I found a place. I was nervous but so far it has been working out great. While feeling homeless at block course I realized that I had no control over it and had to trust in God. And like always God came through and provided. He is truly amazing. Also, a struggle was for the first month or so I didn’t have internet. It was hard not being able to talk to my family whenever I wanted to and also hard to get homework done. However, I learned that not having internet can be a good thing. It helped me to focus on some important things such as talking to God, reading my Bible, and just communicating with people face to face. There is so much you can get done without the internet. It is quite amazing. :D

            After block course we all went to our towns and internships. I headed back to Hamilton a little nervous about what was lying ahead. I hadn’t met anyone from the church, except a young couple who used to be the youth leaders. They are doing Pathways just like I am but they are travelling around New Zealand with gap year students and wouldn’t actually be at the church when I got there. I was nervous but the youth leader invited me to their social event on the Saturday. It was a swimming party. It was such a great way to meet some of the youth that I would be working with, in an informal way. They were all super nice and seemed excited to meet me which was so helpful. Then that Sunday I met the rest of the church. They were all wonderful and said hi. The pastor was extremely friendly and made me feel welcome. It was such a relief knowing that they were excited for me to be there. 

            So for the last month and a half I have been going to youth group on Sunday nights from 4-6. Our youth group only has about 10 youth but they are such wonderful young people. Sunday nights we have a social activity, a snack, and then a little lesson. We are studying the book of John this year. I have been leading the study for the last few weeks and it has been getting easier every week. We are finding different ways to engage the youth and make them want to come to youth group. Hopefully it is going well. 

            One weekend for our social event we went to a touch rugby tournament. Some of the youth didn’t seem to want to be there and some were even really nervous about playing. By the end everyone seemed to be having a great time and I loved watching the confidence grow in them. It is amazing what one afternoon of fun can do. I am praying that they grow even closer and more confident throughout the year. 

            I also meet every other week with my supervisors for life updates. I have some amazing women that are there to guide me and encourage me. It is amazing what comes up in those meetings just because the women are taking time to take interest in my life. I can’t wait to see what develops through these mentors. 

            Two weekends ago we had our second block course. It was really short, only about a day and a half. We did our lectures over Interpreting the Bible and had an awesome (dangerous) game of using reference books to complete a project. Studying the Bible can be fun. It was a great time to catch up with the other students and to see how they are doing with their internships and study. It was nice seeing how God is using them. I love the fact that we can get together and talk just like we haven’t been away from each other at all. Like I’ve said before, these people are amazing!!!

            Last weekend 6 of the youth and 3 of us leaders went to an Easter Camp where we camped for four nights and celebrated Jesus. There is so much to tell that I believe I will put that in my next blog post. Hopefully that will give you something to look forward to. 

            I hope you have enjoyed reading a brief update as to what I’ve been doing. Please feel free to leave comments/questions about things you’d like to know more about. Also, let me know if there are things that I could pray for you about. Some things that I could use prayer for is that the couple that have been leading youth group are going to Peru for four months. First I’d ask you to pray for them and their three boys that God keeps them safe and uses them for His glory. Second, that means starting the 29^th of April I will be leading the youth group mostly by myself (the pastor and his wife will be there for support) so pray that God provides me with the wisdom and strength to take on this challenge. I’m both excited and nervous. If you have any ideas for social activities that we can do for an hour before our study on Sunday please feel free to share (examples; volleyball, charades, etc.) :P Also, please pray for my school work and that I get the most out of it. Money is also another thing that could be prayed about, pray that I don’t run out before the end of the year.  I’d also like to ask you to pray for my youth group, that they grow deeper in their relationships with God. 

            Thank you for your support and prayers. It is wonderful knowing people at home are praying for me. I will try and update this blog more often. Next post will be about Easter Camp and plans for this next term for the youth. Right now it is the youth’s holiday so I’m able to have some free time to catch up on things. I thank God that He brought me here. I’m loving every minute of it and I’m excited to see what else is in store.

Worry!

Luke 12: 22-26 (NIV) 22 Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. 23 Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. 24 Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! 25 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? 26 Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

It has been about a month since I wrote my first post and what a month it has been. This last month for me has been a lot of waiting and worrying. After my first post a lot of things had to fall into place in order for me to make it to New Zealand. I needed to get an intern placement, pay the school tuition and get my visa, and then my plane ticket. Around the 17th of January I got offered a placement at a church camp. It wasn’t really what I was looking for and was in a different town than what I was hoping but it was a place where I would be able to work with children and have a place to stay. I decided to take the position and that allowed me to pay the tuition. However, I wasn’t as excited about the placement as I wanted to be because I was filled with worry about many different things. I tried not to worry but something was just bugging me about the whole situation. All I knew to do was pray about it and ask God if this was truly what He wanted me to do. Then mid-morning on the 23rd I got another offer to work with a youth group at a church in Hamilton. Talking with the school they said that they believed that working with the church was the best option so that is what I’m going to do. With this situation I learned that I shouldn’t worry because God will always provide. I also learned that worrying did not do anything but make me feel bad.

After I got the placement all settled I was feeling a lot better about going to New Zealand but then I had to wait for all the paperwork to come back to me so that I could apply for my visa. I soon started worrying again about whether or not I would get everything done in time to receive my visa. Then God again provided and my paperwork came through and I was able to stick my paperwork in the mail. I felt really silly for worrying because I should know by now that worrying doesn’t help in situations but faith does.

You would think that I had learned that God will take care of me and that everything will work out in His way but I didn’t. When I sent my visa paperwork to the New Zealand embassy I was on a trip with my parents and didn’t know if they would get it back to me in time for me to purchase a plane ticket. The whole time I was on the trip with them I was either worrying about the visa and money to purchase the plane ticket. I remember when we were on our way home that I told my mom that this trip wasn’t going to happen because it wasn’t going to get done in time. She told me to stop worrying and trust God. Of course my mom was right and I shouldn’t have worried because when we got home my visa was sitting in the door waiting for me. I was really excited when I saw my visa because there was a surprise that I wasn’t expecting; the visa didn’t just allow me to study in New Zealand it also allows me to work 20 hours a week while studying. That was a blessing because I still wasn’t sure about money and how I was going to afford everything. The next day, February 3rd, six days before I needed to leave America I was able to purchase my plane ticket. It was amazing how God worked everything out. He is truly an amazing God.

So after all this I have stopped worrying right? Nope, in those six days I started worrying even more about everything. I worried about being gone for so long and missing my parents, I was worrying about having a place to stay, I was worrying about money, I was worrying about whether I would like the school and whether I was going to do well at the church and if I would do good, I worried and worried and worried.... It was getting me no where except sick. That’s when I found it. Sunday rolled around and we were in Sunday school and I was flipping through my Bible and I found a section in Luke that I have read many times but this time it hit me hard. It was all about how Jesus tells us not to worry because God takes care of all his creatures. That worrying can’t had to my life and that I should focus on the day at hand. That is when I realized that I needed to stop worrying and just focus on the day because God made it wonderful for me.

I would have written this post on Sunday but that is also when I realized I had a lot of things to do before Wednesday the 8th rolled around. I had to purchase the last few things and pack. So for the next few days I spent as much time with my family as I could and I packed. I finished packing on Tuesday night and was both excited and nervous to leave the next day. On Wednesday we headed to the Kansas City airport around 8 am and got there around 12.30. I got checked in and just spent the next couple hours with my family. I told them they weren’t allowed to cry because I didn’t want to. I think we all did a good job. My plane left KC at 2.35 and I arrived in LA at about 6 Kansas time. I then picked up my bags, checked into the next flight and waited until 12 Kansas time to board my 12 hour flight to Auckland. While in the airport every time I started to worry I would pray that God helped me to focus on what was before me in the next couple hours and that was to board the plane, eat dinner and sleep as much as I could so I would be ready for the time change. While I sat there my worry soon melted away and I was able to relax and read while I waited. It was the first time in the last three months that I believe I finally let go and let God. It felt really good.

I boarded the plane and had a pleasant dinner and the second the cabin lights went out I fell asleep. I slept peacefully and woke up and had breakfast and was ready to land in Auckland. Going through security and customs was easy. Usually that is the part of the trip I’m most worried about but this time I just knew that it was going to be okay. When I arrived in New Zealand, Andre was waiting for me and helped me collect my bags and catch a bus to another place where we needed to get a bus to Hamilton. Normally again I would be worried about how we would get the ticket and if we would be able to get one in time but I kept asking God to keep me calm. He is such an amazing God because He has been keeping me worry free.

We caught a bus and made it to Hamilton around 12 and got to the place I’m staying for the next couple days. I was so happy to see my other friends that we just hung out and I fell asleep early because I wasn’t used to the time change yet. Yesterday we woke up around 9 and went to look at a place that we might rent. When we got back we looked for other places and are still on the hunt for somewhere to live. I had a moment during the day when I started worrying about money and if we will be able to find a place but I stopped right then and prayed to God to give me faith and to stop me from worrying. It truly has been helpful. And the support of family and friends has also been a wonderful thing and helps me to worry less.

Tonight will start my adventure of starting classes. I will get on a bus around 10pm NZ time and ride about nine hours to Wellington where I will spend two weeks in classes. I am trying not to worry about the normal things that I worry about such as if I will be too shy or not make it in time. I am just trusting God that everything will work out and I will have a great time. I can’t wait to learn about Him and meet all the people at the school.

I will try and update either next week or in two weeks when I get back to Hamilton to let you know how the classes went. If you all would be so kind as to pray that I will worry less so I can see what God wants to teach me. Also, pray for safe travels and that we are able to find a place to live soon. Thank you everyone for your support. I am very happy to continue my journey in New Zealand. So far it has been wonderful!

God Bless,
Brandi Dority

"I Do It Myself"

Jeremiah 29: 11-13 (NIV) 11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

“I do it myself!” A phrase I have been saying as long as I can remember. When learning to ride my bike I told my brother I’d do it myself. When putting a puzzle together I’d tell my mom “I do it myself”. All through my life I have always wanted to do things by myself; homework, puzzles, building things or figuring out problems. I have always been determined to do things by myself, without the help of anyone else. Some of the reasons I have always done things on my own are because I am quite stubborn and like to do it my way, and because I learn best when I figure things out in my own time. Some more reasons, that I’m not particularly proud of, are because I am a very prideful person and don’t want to make myself look stupid by asking that dumb question or asking help on an easy task that I should do on my own. More recently I have learned that I don’t like asking for help on certain things because I don’t feel worthy of the help. My reasoning to myself is because “other people’s problems are bigger than my own”. In the last couple months I have realized that I can’t do all things on my own. I need both the help from people and most importantly I need help from God.

As most of you know in the last couple months I have made some big decisions to follow what I believe is God’s will. In February I will be heading to New Zealand for a year. I will be studying at a Bible college and be interning at a church. I believe in my heart that God is calling me to pursue both my desire to travel and to help others. I have always known that I wanted to be some sort of missionary, youth pastor, or at least work with children. However, until now I haven’t known exactly how to pursue this type of work until this wonderful opportunity fell into my lap. I am excited to start my new journey and seeing what God has in store for me while in New Zealand.
As I told my parents about my plans to leave for a year I knew that there would be challenges while in New Zealand. For instance I knew that I would miss my parents, family and friends like crazy and would get homesick. I also knew that God would be teaching me all kinds of wonderful things while there. However, I never realized all the challenges, struggles and lessons that I would have even before stepping on the plane to New Zealand. These last few months have been such an adventure in itself. One of the biggest things I’ve learned is that I am not going to be able to take this journey on my own. I will need my friends, family and God every step of the way. After getting accepted into the school I looked into how much everything would cost to go to the school and realized that I was going to need a lot of faith that I would be able to get all the money I needed. I was hoping on a loan from Sallie Mae to pay for my schooling and then figure out other ways to come up with the money for living expenses and travel. I knew I needed to get all the money together before I left because I wont be able to work while in New Zealand. I talked my parents about the money situation and they helped give me faith that it was all going to work out, I just needed to have faith in God.
The first problem arose when I found out that the school was not registered with Sallie Mae so I wouldn’t be able to get a loan to pay the school. I remember driving home from my job and feeling helpless. Right then was the first time I asked for help. I broke down and cried out to God. I told Him that I knew I couldn’t do this on my own, that the only way that this would be possible was if He helped me. I talked to him for over an hour crying, yelling and even said something along the lines of, “God I know you made the world in 7 days so I’m sure you can get me to New Zealand in 60.” After I asked for God’s help in this journey and telling Him that I needed to just let go and let Him do His thing I felt rejuvenated. I was ready to allow God to be in the drivers seat.
That next week I was blessed with an old family friend who my parents hadn’t talked to in a long time giving me a large sum of money to help me pay for most of the school. It was such a God thing! It was really out of the blue and I remember just thinking how amazing God is. After, losing faith and regaining faith I was feeling pretty good and ready to face anything that came my way, with God’s help of course. I realized however that I still needed quite a bit of money and wasn’t sure about getting it. I knew that I could get a lot of it with work but I just wasn’t sure how to get the remaining funds that I probably wouldn’t be able to get on my own. That’s when I had a friend suggest I do a letter writing fundraiser, asking my friends and family for help. My immediate thought was, “I’ll do it myself, I can’t ask people to help me with this. They have their own needs.” I told my mom my thoughts and she told me that I can’t let Satan and my negative thoughts get in my head. However, I have always had a hard time asking people for prayer let alone possibly helping me financially. I prayed to God and decided that I had to at least allow the people I love dearly the chance to help me in the way that they could. After sending out the mail I immediately started worrying and having doubt as to what people would think of me. I worried that people think I was selfish or wondering how dare I ask for these things. I found myself praying all the time that God bring me peace of mind and I finally allowed myself to feel a sense of peace in asking others for help. And in asking for help I have had people that I would have never expected to be so supportive give me such encouragement. My grandmother is one of this people. She was probably the person I was most nervous to tell about my new journey. However, to my surprise she has been one of my biggest supporters. In telling me that she believes this is what I need to be doing and in helping me largely financially. I feel like this experience is bringing her and I closer together and I am so thankful to God for this. This second challenge of asking for help was harder then asking God for help.
Now the third challenge is facing me. I am waiting on a placement for my internship and I’m learning that it is really hard to be patient and let God have control. I am having a hard time just sitting, waiting, and not worrying that things won’t work out. I have a hard time letting go and letting God. Allowing others to have the reins and for me to not need to be in control is really hard. One thing that I have learned that is my biggest help is to literally get down on my hands and knees and pray out to God for comfort and to take away my worry. I pray that I can maintain faith and to trust in Him.
If you are reading this and have made it to the end I would like to ask you for prayer. I am so close to being able to start my journey to New Zealand. The things I need prayer for are that the church placement works out and that I find out soon which church I will be working with and that the last couple thousand dollars will come through so that I can buy my plane tickets and get my visa processed. Also, please pray for my family because this must be hard for them, especially my parents, letting their baby girl fly half way around the world and be away from them for a year. Pray that we all have strength and faith to trust in God’s plan for our lives. I will also be praying for you and that God blesses your lives. I want to thank each and everyone of you for all your support and encouragement as I take this next step in my life. Thank you!

God Bless,
Brandi